The Secret Life of a Love Guru
by stardom
Summary: People know Tsuna as a useless, nonathletic, boring teenager, but what they didn't realize that the person that they always made fun of was the same person that they went to for help concerning their love lives. Read how Tsuna, an online love guru, encounters people that transform his life to a whole new level of exciting while still trying to conceal who he really is.
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

Once upon a time there lived a boy in a town called Namimori. His name was Tsuna, and well, let's face reality; everyone knew that he was useless. He wasn't smart or athletic or sociable or even mediocre. However, what everyone didn't know was that he wasn't incompetent at all. The Dame-Tsuna everyone came to know was all a hoax, a façade created by said boy's imagination. The real Tsuna was someone that no one would have ever imagined him to be. The real Tsuna was a love guru.

Surprising is it not? But the truth doesn't lie. For years Tsuna has helped hundreds maybe even thousands of people in developing or mending their relationship with a significant other; however, there were times where Tsuna would advise against the preservation of a relationship. The people who seek out his guidance trusted Tsuna, and why wouldn't they? He had a success rate of 100% if a couple was meant to be, and if they weren't, Tsuna made his clients realize that the love of their life was standing right next to them all along. The brunette gave his advice freely, but for those who wanted step by step guidance, Tsuna would charge an adequate fee for his services. Clients didn't mind the charge at all because he was worth every penny. Some people would even be so indebted to him and his help that they would transfer more than he requested.

Tsuna worked through a website that he created himself, and he kept his identity a secret by functioning under a pseudonym. Most people in the virtual community knew him as Cupid. The brunette thought that it was the most suitable name in respect towards his niche.

Recently, Tsuna's website had gained a lot of popularity. There was a constant stream of visitors, both new and old, who came to read Tsuna's numerous advises and ask some questions of their own. Women, and men, of all ages were captivated by all of the successful love stories told by the clients and all of wise words written by a person behind a computer screen. With hopeful hearts, they would seek help and spread the information about Cupid-san's website through words and the internet.

Tsuna had become a adviser for thousands, and he enjoyed every single minute of it.

In addition to being a love guru, Tsuna was also a charming, smart, and attractive teen, but he continued to masquerade in his fabricated persona because of unwanted attention. Even though Tsuna was a love guru, he didn't actually like being in love or being loved. The teen recalled a particular instant where he acted as his real self on a vacation at age 12. Even at a young age, Tsuna attracted many people; his charm and charisma attracted people like bees to honey. Throughout that trip, at least 3, if not more, people fell in love with him at first sight. It was not a great summer for the preteen because those 3 people, 2 girls and one guy, developed a borderline obsession with Tsuna, and the adolescent had to avoid them all throughout his trip. From then on, Tsuna decided to adopt the Dame-Tsuna persona until he matured enough to protect himself from hoards of crazed people.

This was how the ever lovable Tsuna became the Dame-Tsuna that everyone came to know.

The story of how he became a love guru, however, will be told at another time.

* * *

Hi readers! You'll probably not read this, but I just wanted to say that it's been a long time since i posted anything. _  
And also please don't expect long chapters! Even if i plan to make this fanfiction pretty long (I don't know how long though) I usually write short chapters.  
Hope you like it!

P.S. This upcoming year is going to be really busy so sorry if I don't update regularly! I'll try and get something out at least once every 2 weeks if not once a week.


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter One

Okay well this is the first official chapter!  
The next few chapters are going to contain a lot of introductions as new people get introduced, but there is still going to be plot!  
Not much in this chapter though.

P.S. Please tell me you favorite pairing!  
I planned to do a bit of AllxTsuna, but there is going to be one main one!

* * *

It was a bright and sunny morning, a beautiful day really, when Tsuna woke up for his first day of high school. As usual, he awoke at five some time before the sunrise and went through his daily morning routine before he checked his website. Tsuna had acquired fifteen new requests, fifty two questions on his advice column, and around a hundred comments containing words of gratitude and praise. The first thing Tsuna did was accept 5 of the new requests, saving the rest for later. Then he meticulously read and answered all of the questions on the advice column. It was 7 o'clock when he completed his tasks and time to go downstairs for breakfast.

"Morning kaa-san" Tsuna said stepping into the kitchen and giving his mother a kiss on the cheek. He then went to the table to consume the rather large breakfast that his mother had concocted.

"Good morning Tsu-chan. I made your all of your favorite foods for your first day of high school!"

Nana, Tsuna's mother was a beautiful woman. With short light brown hair, doe-like eyes, and a bubbly personality, she appeared too young to have a child in high school. However, even with her young appearance, she was a wonderful mother and housewife. The neighborhood women would gossip how Nana-san's husband was a handsome rich foreigner who was able to afford the rather large house and to support his family easily, but no one had ever actually had a glimpse of him anywhere. So Nana and her son lived in a house much too large for just two people, but they were lived happily with just the two of them.

Getting back to the story, Nana discarded her apron and sat down to eat with her only child.

"So Tsu-chan, Nana inquired, are you ready for your first day of high school?"

"Ah, more or less, I'm ready as I'll ever be." Tsuna replied. The brunette felt remorse when he had to deceive his mother into thinking that he was a useless child, but he had things that to be done. Besides he had made enough through his website that his mother didn't have to worry about his future, not that she knew anything about his alternate life. They continued to consume their food while having some small talk here and there before Tsuna sat up, thanked his mother, and left for school.

The brunette attended Namimori high school, most famous for its Disciplinary Committee and its baseball team. It was an escalator school and most of the students graduated from Namimori Middle. However, there were rumors running around that year declaring that many foreign exchange students were transferring, but Tsuna didn't know anything about it since no one ever bothered to include him in any conversations.

As Tsuna walked past the gates of Nami-high, he swiftly positioned himself behind a rather large student in order to disappear from the eye-sight of the Disciplinary Committee leader Hibari Kyoya. Practically every single student and faculty member feared this particular frightening prefect. Standing at ta tall 6'2, he towered over many of the students and intimidated them into submission with his piercing cold eyes. Compared to his middle school days, Hibari had grown taller, faster, and a lot more handsome. At the beginning of his high school career, the dark-haired prefect took that school by a storm, punishing every single delinquent and implementing stricter rules after kicking the previous president off his high horse. A rather large fan club began to form after some girls decided that the handsome but frightening teenager was worthy of being followed, but the prefect disbanded it when the group members began to crowd around him. There were some more rumors circulating claiming that an underground Hibari Kyoya fan-club still existed, but no one ever confirmed the rumor until much later.

The reason why Tsuna avoided Hibari-san was because the prefect labeled him as the "most herbivore-ish student alive" who ruined the reputation of his precious school, which meant that Tsuna had to step it up or else. Tsuna was terrified when he heard those words leave the lips of the prefect so he vowed to himself to avoid the frightening male at all cost.

Sometimes, Tsuna could feel the persistent stares from the prefect, and it sent shivers down his spine; however, he never questioned why the tall male would pay any attention to him because the smaller teenager was too busy with dealing with other's relationships rather than with his own.

Tsuna successfully bypassed the prefect since some students thought it was a great idea to break the dress code. He opened the door leading to his homeroom only to see chaos ensue. Silently slipping inside, Tsuna sat down at an empty desk. A few minutes passed by and the teacher finally decided to restore order so that the class could start.

"Okay class. Today we are going to elect the class officer for the year. You guys need to think hard on whom to elect because this position requires quite some responsibility."

The teacher began to drone on about the role of the class officer when Tsuna decided to focus on more important matters like the new cases that he accepted earlier that day. Three of the cases were the regular "there's this guy/girl that I'm really interested in, but they don't know that I even exist" type scenarios. There was one case of reestablishing the passionate love in a burnt out relationship, and there was one which Tsuna was rather intrigued with. It was the case where a childhood love came back to her hometown, but the guy didn't remember the girl. Only a few minutes into his contemplation, Tsuna didn't realize that he was being called on.

"…wada-san. Sawada-san. SAWADA TSUNAYOSHI!"

"Hai!" Tsuna rose up from his chair in response to his name, and the class began to laugh at him. Embarrassed, the brunette shirked from the stares and turned beet red.

"Thank you for gracing us with your attention Sawada-san, but you may sit down" replied that teacher.

Tsuna immediately sat down and lowered his head to hide from the eyes of every single student in the class.

"Well now that I've got your attention, I wanted to inform you that since no one wanted to become class officer, you were nominated to take the position. This is a very important post so all of the class officers will have a meeting after school. Come talk to me during break and I'll tell you where to go Sawada-san." The teacher sighed and shook his head slightly before turning around to face the board.

"What?!" Tsuna said as a delayed reply. His face drained of color when he realized what this position meant. He had to record a daily report every day and deliver it to the Disciplinary Committee, which meant more chances of encountering its feared leader.

"Have fun with Hibari-san, Dame-Tsuna" a classmate yelled. The class began to laugh at his unfortunate predicament, excluding a few students like Sasagawa Kyoko, a school idol, and Yamamoto Takeshi, the ace baseball player, and Hana Kurokawa, a girl with indifferent feelings towards Tsunayoshi. Tsuna began to brood for the rest of the day over the horrible fate he was destined with.

The last bell rang too soon for the quivering brunette as he stood up from his seat to attend the mandatory officer's meeting, which was located in the classroom next to the Disciplinary Committee's office.

Small feet ran to the designated classroom to avoid being "bitten to death" by being late, but they stopped right in front of the sliding doors. Tsuna was scared stiff. Even though he wasn't actually useless didn't meant that he wasn't afraid of something completely new to him. Taking a large breath, Tsuna opened the door and stepped into his new life as a freshman class officer. He wondered what new thing were in store for him; however, if he knew what was going to happen, then he would have run away while he still had the chance, not that he had one... It was too late for him. Fate had decided to play with Tsuna's life

* * *

I finally uploaded the first chapter!  
I was kind of frustrated in editing this one because i couldn't think of the worlds that would sound good together, but I did my best... I think?

I should actually be finishing my paper, but i like writing this more so yeah...

Sorry if some things don't flow so well!  
English isn't really considered my best subject, but hopefully after some practice I will get much better!

Please review with your thoughts!  
Any contributions would be taken into consideration! I like to think that my imagination is good enough, but getting other people's thoughts always help!


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Hey guys I'm back!

Hopefully you like this chapter. It's kind of shorter than the last one which is really weird since it is actually longer than the 1st chapter when i wrote it on paper. But I guess since I was constantly changing what was going to happen, it became shorter.

I planned everything up to Chapter 8, but most likely some plot points are going to be moved earlier or pushed back.

I should really change the type of this story since romance isn't going to be in here for a while. A bit of fluff here and there but the falling in love won't come for a while!

Enjoy!

* * *

The door slammed into its frame with a loud 'BAM' as Tsuna let his bag slip off his shoulders and onto the carpeted floor of his bedroom. A sigh escaped from his parted lips as the brunette fell not so gracefully onto the plush covers of his bed. He groaned out loud. This day probably couldn't get any worse.

Previously, an hour before, Tsuna sat in one of the chairs listening to Tetsuya Kusakabe, the second-in-command of the Disciplinary Committee, explain the various responsibilities of the class officer. However everything took a turn for the worst once Hibari Kyoya entered the double doors. The seemingly organized meeting had transformed into a perilous lecture.

With a deadly aura, the prefect threatened the students to the point of paralysis.

"You are to follow my every rule to the dot. Bring me a report of everything that happened in the classroom. If you do not or if you give me an inadequate report than I promise that I will find you and bite you to death."

After the short but frightening speech, the prefect left the room, leaving behind 18 shivering figures that were once students.

'I wish that I would never have to go through that again, but that's just impossible.' With a loud sigh, Tsuna sat back up and stretched his arms over his head.

'Well it's time to get to work,' Tsuna thought.

The brunette walked over to his desk and sat down in the armchair. He flipped open his Macbook and pressed the start button. While waiting for the computer to boot up, the teen began to organize his many pens and books on his desk. When his mac was fully awake, Tsuna clicked the web browser and typed in his website in the address bar. Immediately, the trendy looking home page loaded and a welcome sign popped up. Exiting out of the welcome box, Tsuna signed in as "Cupid-san".

'Ahh, Tsuna thought, Ayumi-san and Hiroko-san sent an update report. He clicked on the messages and read the happy news.

Dear Cupid-san,  
Thank you sooo much for helping me with my relationship! Hisaki and I couldn't be any happier and closer! It's all thanks to you that we are together. Thank you for the past month of guidance. I also transferred the fee to your account. By the way, I told Hisaki about what you did for us, and he wanted me to say thank you. I'm going to miss communicating with you, but I'll keep in touch! Thank you again for your help. I couldn't have done it without you!

-From Ayumi-chan.

The other letter from Hiroko-san was very similar to the precious letter, and Tsuna smiled as he clicked out of the messages.

'I'm glad everything worked out well' thought Tsuna. Content with the happy news, the love guru then went on to answer some of the new questions on the advice column. After finishing, he moved on to one of his new requests.

For the five new cases, he began to send standardized questions about the situation and the love interest of each new client.

Then Tsuna went to his message box to help the clients that he was already assisting. While writing the last bit of advice for Mitsuki-san, a woman who wanted to have a good relationship with the husband she found through an arranged marriage, Tsuna received a chat.

"Hello Cupid-san" the anonymous user wrote.

Tsuna was shocked and wary of the message because he was supposed to be the only user who could initiate a chat with other users, for work purposes only of course. So who could this user be and how did he activate the chat?

Not wanting to be rude, Tsuna tentatively wrote back.

"Hello… Who is this?"

Immediately after sending the message, a reply popped up.

"I would like to keep my identity a secret as you do, but you may call me Anon."

"Anon? What type of name is that?" Tsuna asked perplexed by the strange alias. The teenager didn't question himself why he kept talking to this stranger who had practically hacked his website. Sadly even though Tsuna was an intelligent child, he sometimes reverted to his usual Dame-Tsuna persona.

"It is a shortened version of anonymous. I know it is a bit boring but I thought it was appropriate since I don't want my alias to give off any indication of who I am."

"Alright then, why did you contact me? Do you need my help?"

"No. It's nothing of that sort. I just found myself intrigued by your website, and I had to know who the person behind its creation is. Everyone speaks so highly of you, but are you really the person that you decorate yourself to be? Have you experienced the ecstasy and ache of love, the impulses and dangers from jealousy, the emptiness and of loss? You interest me, and that is not a very easy task. Nothing other than science had ever stretched my attention to this extent."

"…I'm flattered? However, I must disagree with your opinions. I am not as interesting as you make me out to be. Your interest towards me will dwindle with time."

"On the contrary, Cupid-san, you intrigue in many ways. I want to know how such a young person knows so much about the enigma called love."

"Well, it's from a mix of….Wait! How did you know that I was young?"

"Well for one, you just confirmed my suspicions, and secondly your manner of speech is slanted more towards modern diction. Most adults I know do not use such words."

'Damn it.' Tsuna cursed uncharacteristically. 'I gave something away about me.' Tsuna quickly got over that fact and attempted to divert the attention away from himself.

"Well you have a decent amount of deductive skills, mind telling me where it's from?"

"Oh no, my life is of no importance, lets direct our attention back towards you."

'Ugh' Tsuna started to get frustrated and worried at the same time. Talking to Anon was too much of a hassle. Exacerbated, Tsuna decided to ignore the person on the other side of the screen. The brunette already accomplished all he had planned for that day anyway. Tsuna send a quick reply back to Anon before logging off.

On the other side of the world, the new character, Anon, chuckled at the parting words that Cupid-san had sent him.

'What an amusing child. I must continue to interact with him. It will be worth my time to figure out who he is.'

The tall figure sat back into his chair as his glasses gleamed from the light of his computer screen.

Several hours later, after finishing his assignments, Tsuna got ready for bed. However, our alluring and most lovable brunette didn't realize that his day did indeed get more complicated and annoying by talking to the stranger on the internet.

* * *

Guess who Anon is! And i know it is not a creative nickname but i couldn't find a good one and i didn't want it to be a corny name although i think i kinda failed at that. lol.

Well actually I don't even know how he is going to fit into this story romantically wise. I just wanted to include an mysterious unknown friend that no one else knows about!

Lol. It's kinda late and I'm getting really weird.

Please comment on plot! most likely I'm going to do 1827 as the main pairing since i find that to be the easiest.

Thank you for all the past reviews and the ones in the future! I really appreciate them. :)

Peace out!


	4. Chapter 3

Hey guys! sorry i haven't updated in a while. I've been meaning to but school started and i got kind of busy.  
This one is a bit short and i feel like its a bit rushed, but i didn't want to drag it out so it is it!

* * *

The very next day, Tsuna woke up later than usual. He felt his head start to pound and saw his room whirl all around him when he sat up. The brunette, with some difficulty, lifted his fingers to his forehead and found it warmer than usual, but being not being the morning person that he is, Tsuna didn't think about what the raised temperature signified. With a loud groan, the teen tried to shake the fogginess out of his head, but it only made everything worse. Swinging his legs off of the bed, the brunette stood to prepare for his day.

Since he woke up late, Tsuna only had time to wash up and to get dressed before grabbing a piece of toast and leaving for school.

He hoped that he would feel better by the end of the say, but knowing his luck, his condition would probably end up the total opposite to what he wished for.

Tsuna slipped through the school gates in a daze, ignorant of a set of piercing eyes trailing his every step. He slowly climbed up the stairs in the school building, went into his classroom, and uncharacteristically plopped down into his seat.

Class went by quickly, and everything passed by in a blur. Tsuna had no recollection of what happened or what the teacher talked about. One moment he is sitting through a lecture that went in one ear and out the other and the next, he was sitting down in his chair while everyone else stood up to leave or go to afterschool activities. By the time Tsuna truly understood what was happening in the outside world, everyone had left, and 15 minutes had passed since the last bell rung.

The disoriented brunette groaned when he realized that he had wasted a whole day, and that wasn't even the worst part! He still had to write up the class report before he could go home. Tsuna knew that he couldn't write the report; he didn't know what happened during class. Even if he guessed what had happened and written a fake report, it would have been crap and Hibari-san would have come after him. The sick teenager sighed and decided that he would rather deal with Hibari-san tomorrow.

Sliding his chair back, Tsuna stood up from his seat. Unfortunately, he didn't realize how sick he really was. Immediately after standing up, a wave of nausea hit Tsuna like a tsunami. His knees almost buckled from the disorientation and the loss of balance, but he grabbed the edge of his desk for support. He closed his eyes and waited for the feeling to settle down before trying to leave the classroom.

After a few minutes, Tsuna felt better, so he grabbed his bag and walked slowly to the door. Entering the abandoned hallway, the teen turned towards the nearest stairway. It took more time than usual, but Tsuna eventually reached the stairs. He was able to go down a few steps before an even greater wave of dizziness hit him. The dizziness was so great that Tsuna's consciousness slipped for a second, but that second was enough for him to miss the next step. The brunette's body fell forward to meet harsh contact with the floor. In reality, his body didn't crash into the cold hard floor, but it landed in a pair of warm arms instead.

Tsuna opened his eyes, but all his blurred vision showed him was a head of black hair hovering over his face. His eyes grew heavy afterwards and he slipped into the dream world.

Tsuna woke up from a dream that he could vaguely remember and expected to meet the white ceiling of his room, but instead he stared at the tiled ceiling of a room that he didn't recognize. Propping himself on his elbows, the brunette pushed himself up into a sitting position. With curiosity, he began to look around the room he was kept in. At first he noticed the plush black sofa that he was currently on, and then his eyes traveled to the glass table in front of the couch. Further on, he saw a desk with some loose papers on top as well as an empty swivel chair behind it. There wasn't much of anything else in the room except a door that led outside. Tsuna was confused. Where was he, and how did he get there? All he could remember was not feeling well and going down the stairs when…...

Then the brunette suddenly stood up remembering about his fall; however, he forgot that he was still sick. His knees did buckle this time, and he fell back into the couch. Tsuna let out a small "oof" when he landed on the couch and a bit of air was knocked out of him. He let out a sigh when he realized that he didn't have to energy to move for an extended period of time so he relaxed into the seat.

'I better wait until someone gets here' he thought.

Tsuna didn't have to wait long because after a few minutes he heard the turn of the doorknob. The brunette turned to look and the figure entering, but a look a shock crossed his face when he realized who it was.

* * *

Sigh, so predictable. _  
You guys probably know who it is.  
I don't know how often I'll update this, but I'm hoping once a month is okay. It should get better once january passes and all my applications are finished. I hope you guys like this chapter!


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